Alicecollins' Journals

Kinda hoping no one reads this...

Hello,

Right now I'm sitting in my room at my desk listening to "Air On A G String" by the Scottish Orchestra (no need for any puns here). It's one of those songs that I can always put on repeat and feel like everything in the world will be OK even when I know that it's too hard to do... Recently my parents have been giving me a hard time. I'm sick to death about it all... They keep going on about college and how I'm not putting my best into it, but only if they knew how I felt about the place. It is the most cliquey place in the entire world, school was NEVER this bad. IT's like evry girl is competeing to be the next Sienna Miller, and I for one am not one of those people. The course I'm doing lacks drive, I feel like I'm a child again, the lecturers are crap and monotoned and it's not what I ever imagined life after school would be like. So instead I sleep in, don't attend class, and pretend that evrything is OK. I told my mum how I felt and how I still want to do make up and beauty therapy and how it's all I think about day in day out, and she agreed that I can apply for college just down the road from me and that if I get in I don't have to go back to UCD, which nearly had me in tears with excitment. I just hope I do get in because alot is riding on me getting into that college because if I dont I have to go back to that hello-hole and deal with the shitness that is life at the moment. I feel like I can't mes up at home or NOT study in the slightest (I have no concentration so I never study) or else people will be on my case no end. I basically just want to tell people where the fuck to go and to let them realise that it's my life and if I fuck up, it's on my shoulders, not theirs, despite what they think. I just know that if I do get into this course I will most definitely kick ass. Make up is my passion and it's what I do when I'm alone in my room. I look up websites on how do different looks, I spend the majority of my money on make up and brushes, I note what way a celeb did their make up to a certain premiere and try to imitate it. It's my life. It consumes my thoughts and energy. I know it sounds sad but it's the truth... Wow that was a rant and a half. Needed that.

If anyone does read this let me know if anything like this has ever to you :)

Alice (Queen of the Rants). xo

I'll sleep when I'm dead, but for now I'm staying awake to enjoy life.

Life has been weird lately. I've been more determined and more excited about life. The only thing I've been lacking in is college enthusiasim. I just don't have the heart for it anymore. It's repetitive and boring. The only thing I like about the lectures is the English ones. The insight they give us to some of the most amazing writers stories is unreal. It has made me aprreciate literature just that little bit more. My fondness for books will never cease.

I have decided to get fit and lose weight. I'm bored with how I look and I want to be more healthy and feel more comfortable in my own skin, because it's not as if I can wear anyone else's. I asked my brother Jonathan for help. He's a fitness freak and a health ethusiast. When I asked him I don't think he could have looked more happy. I'm now on a strict diet for the next week (I've already completely a week) and a fitness regime, and for the first time in my life, I feel positive and happy and confident. I know I can do this and be healthy, so I'm not going to give up on this. I'm going to be the person I deserve to be.

I was talking to my friend James on the phone today and he was telling me about a holiday deal package in Portugal, and you go for 6 days, get surf lessons for 2hrs a day, have accomodation and flights etc etc and it's pretty cheap too so I think I'm going to go on it. So far it's myself, James and Sarah going, and we just need another person because the house is a 4 bedroom one and it'll be even cheaper that way! Can't wait, I'm going to go in March :)

Tonight I'm having some friends over in my house to drink and catch up and chat. It's been a while since we've done this and seeing as how it's horrible out it's way easier than getting soaked and spending a load of money!

Rant over,

Hope your weekend is awesome everyone!

Alice xo

HELP ME PLEASE SOMEONE!!

How in the name of God do you remove tags??? I stupidly kept MCR tags on pictures I postedthe other night and they have nothing to do with MCR. It's seriously annoying me and I have been all over this freaking site trying to fix them but it just isn't working.

So basically, HELP ME GET RID OF THESE FUCKING TAGS PLEASE!

Alice xo

Push your seat back cuz I don't wanna stop

I was at my debs recently. In my school its this big fancy event where you get announced into society and walk down our stairs in front of a HUGE crowd of family, friends and cameras. Image magazine were there too taking pictures of everyone so that was pretty neat.

I brought my good friend Rioghan, and I'm so glad I brought him. He was the most perfect gentleman and he looked after me all night (especially when he kept buying me drinks haha!!). Everyone spent the night dancing, drinking, catching up with others and chatting. Unfortunately I woke up the next day still drunk, and had to explain to my parents by trying to write on paper why I couldn't speak (I couldn't really form sentences), but alas my body was too weak so my writing instead looked like chcken scratching. Not so fun. But it was completely worth it for the most perfect amazing night (which incidently lasted until half 6am...)

Has anyone ever gone to a debutant ball?

MCR...

Just a quick thingy to say (or more likely to remind myself) that my love for MCR has not faded.

I was making my lunch today just there and I had a music channel on the t.v and I wasn't really concentrating what was on, then I heard the opening piano keys of "Welcome To The Black Parade", and I just started to smile and couldn't stop. Something like that just reminded me that MCR (although they are taking a well deserved break) are always going to be there and my love for them is still as strong as ever. I actually started to doubt myself in whether I still loved them as much as I did, because their music wasn't constantly in my ears, but I know that within myself that they are.

Ok, random rant over!

Love Alice xo =]

Merry Christmas!

Hello loves, I hope you have all been well and life is teating you good! Life has been majorly hectic my end, hence I haven't really been online here, so apologies for that (I'm on my bebo account more often. If anyone has one add me it's www.bebo.com/Duuu_Gusgus). I started college in September and I've just been kinda getting into the swings of that and trying (and failing!!) to get a job. I'm kinda already bored of college, I don't know if its where I want to be in life but there's no harm in getting a degree just to have just in case! My love for makeup is still strong as ever, and I'm still considering going into beauty in a few years so I can do it full time. What do you think? I'm also super-bored of my look at the moment, I need to re-vamp my style ala Hanna Beth or something (I absolutely LOVE her style). I just need the money first to do it all (hence the job hunting!!). I seriously need to sye my hair too, thinking of getting a rich brown with like a red tint in it or seomthing completely crazy to it!! Any suggestions??

ALSO, Christmas is just around the corner, so I'm super super super excited! I'm going Christmas shopping with Sarah Carda and James tomorrow, so that should be good fun. Dublin at Christmas always has a magical feel to it, even though it never snows! What is on your Christmas wish-list? I'm getting a new phone (Nokia 5220 - nothing special but it'll do the job nicely!), and a new ipod 120GB (I'll definitely need thatto hold me music collection!).

I would also lastly like to wish all you buzzneters a Very Merry Christmas, and I hope you all have fantastic well-earned holidays!

Hugs and Kisses,

Alice xoxo

SORRY GUYS!!

hey guys i'm so sorry i haven't been replying to any comments or anything.... life's been fairly crazy this last month or so.... and i haven't even posted pictures or anything i'm so ashamed! i have tonnes of cool new pics to put up just bare with me and i'll have looooooads of new mcr and alicia way pics soon!!

love alice xx

A bit about me!! read it if u wanna!

Hey guys!

this is my first post thingy, and i just want to explain a little about myself to u all.

the sole reason why i setted up my buzznet account was cz i wanted to have an account where i could truely be myself away from people i know around me and their judging. as u can see im devoted to mcr but not alot of ppl can understand why. i went through a really bad time over a yr ago and i cudnt understand wat was wrong with me. im usually happy bubbly and up for a laugh but i started getting severely depressed over little things. i cudnt find anything to smile about and i found it hard to get out of bed. i would drink alot and i cut myself and only my cousin knew but he cudnt help me. my parents thought i mite have had bipolar disease. the only thing that got me through it all was music. My Chemical Romance to be exact. i have my friend leah (i owe her my life) to thank for that. she gave me theis cds ago before but i hadn't quite understood what they were saying in their songs. but when i listed to them again their music just spoke so much to me, about pain and loss and revenge, and i totally got what they meant with everything. i used to never understand when ppl wud say "their music helped me through tough times" but now i totally get it. they saved my life. i finally got it that it was ok to not want to get out of bed somedays but you had to get on with life and ignore the little shits who got in your way. i constantly listen to mcr and i have never once gotten sick of them. my parents are the most supportive people you will ever meet and they understood completely when i explained eventually what was wrong with me and they actually encouraged me to follow mcr. ive been to see 2 of their concerts (one of which my dad drove me to the other side of the country for =]) my walls are adorned with their posters and i buy any magazine which mite have the tiniest piece written about them (hence my weekly subscription to kerrrang).

im now ok but i do get down sometimes but thats part of life and i can get over it fairly quickly cz i have amazing friends family and best of all, mcr. They save lives, ya kno!!

laterz mates xxx